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El-Duego
Hey, welcome to my page, thanks for visiting. I write BBS stories, as some of you know, and I also had a try at making shitty quiz games. I have been on NG for quite a while, a lot longer than this account, anyways. I love music and movies (how vague)

Age 30, Male

God

the moon

Joined on 5/20/06

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Mirror - Part 2

Posted by El-Duego - February 13th, 2009


Sorry about the delay! I had exams :(
All done now! Till June anyways...
Also sorry nothing action-packed has happened yet, its to build up the scene, ya know?
If ya like it comment please! Comments REALLY do encourage me to write more of it.

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I was sitting in the cabin, rain splattered on the windows outside, creating a peaceful, rhythmic beat. I swayed back on my chair, puffing the cigar between my lips. These things were like gold out here. For cigars, a man could trade anything. Money, rum, heck, I heard a guy even traded his rifle for some. "Amazing what addiction can do to people nowadays," I thought to myself.
The door swung open, and a soldier pulling a poncho down over his head stumbled into the room, coughing at the smoke.
"Jesus, Johnny! Put that thing out before ya give us all cancer!"
"Sorry, Carl..." I mumbled, throwing the cigar down. I had almost finished it anyways. A few millimetres of tobacco were not worth angering Carl's fierce temper.
He dropped down into the chair across from me, and put his rifle on the ground. He pulled off his wet poncho, tossing it into the corner to dry, and pulled a deck of cards out from inside his jacket.
"Ya wanna play some poker, Johnny?"
"Nah... not really."
"Ah come on Johnny, I gots some cigs to bet, I sure as hell aint gonna smoke em."
"No, Carl. I just ain't in the mood."
He tilted his head, and looked at me quizzically.
"What's eatin' ya Johnny?"
"Nothin."
"Come on man, I been out with you for damn near months now, and I know you. And I can tell when you're lying man! If I had told anyone out here that old Jonathan Torrence was turnin' down a game a poker with cigs on the line, they'd put me away! Now what's wrong?"
"Nothin! I told ya!"
He sat back in his chair defeated.
Carl was right. Something was bothering me. It was my mirror.
The man was not supposed to wave at me! He was supposed to sit there and be ready, at any moment, to put a bullet between my eyes. I was to do the same. You don't wave to people like that!
I felt confused, angry, and a little scared. What if this was some new German ploy? They were to make me feel compassion before they charged, so that I wouldn't be able to shoot the man.
Most of all though, I felt guilty. In that moment, when I should have felt nothing but hatred, I felt brotherhood, and understanding.
I had waved back.


Comments

Story really builds up slowly but steady. Still I like your way of story telling, I'll be checking back for part 3. :)

I'm not going to say much because my eyes hurt from reading a lot (I've been on the BBS for a few hours now) but I will say this:

Awesome. I really like your gradual style and the way you generally tell the story. It really draws you in and I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.